25 Mar 2011

The first conker, autumn 2011

The first conker of Autumn, collected the afternoon before Dad died.

It almost hit me on the head as I was walking to the shops so I picked it up and brought it home.

I have never actually seen a conker drop before.

I walked inside , there was a message from Mum to say that Dad was really sick and she wanted me to come. 
I knew it was going to be the final phase.
For some reason   the conker was important,
the beginning of autumn, 
the first conker,
the first toadstool too, 
the last time my life would be untouched by the kind of loss that came when it should I guess,
loss of a parent at the time when such loss is supposed to happen,
the cycle of life,
dramatic but expected,
incredibly sad but a kind of peace too.

The first toadstool, autumn 2011

9 Responses to “ ”

  1. Life's cycles are not always easy."bittersweet" is the word that comes to mind.Life can be very bittersweet at times!You will now be in a year of "firsts"....first time for each holiday and season without your father.My heart goes out to you because it will be hard.I send you peace! Darlene

  2. So sorry to learn about your Dad. My daddy passed away last summer at age 99 years, 6 months, and you are so right: it's the cycle of life, sad, but also a sense of peace when you aren't recognized by your own father.

  3. Oh, Jenny.....super big hugs coming your way. That was beautiful what you wrote.

  4. Oh Jenny. It will get easier. He's at peace, and someday you will be too. Hugs and prayers being sent your way.

    Anna Marie

  5. Oh dear Jenny, I have only just caught up on reading your last few postings. I am so sorry to read about your Dad. May you hold close to your heart all the wonderful memories you have of your Dad. Thinking of you, your Mum and family at this sad time. fondest regards, Jenny

  6. I just caught up here and wanted to send you my heartfelt condolences. My father died after a long period of dementia and pain, but my mother (Connie too) predeceased him by five weeks quite unexpectedly and suddenly. It was a hard time but it is all OK now and we know they are fine.

  7. I send my love and respect...love, mare

  8. I didn't know red mushrooms like that actually grew anywhere! I thought they were just 1970s fairytales.

    So glad you have the mushroom and the conker. . .and your peace.


Thanks so much for taking the time to chat. I don't always have time to reply but I do read every message you leave.