4 Jun 2009

Just popping my head round the corner to say "hello".

Things are just fine here only I haven't had the slightest desire to write on my little blog.

I have been reading lots of other blogs full of busyness and great thoughts.

I have been reading books and looking through magazines and old knitting patterns.

I have been taking time I guess to recharge and wonder and daydream.

I have been wondering where I'm heading with all this, you know, the blog, the dolls, and I've even rediscovered the charming illustrations of Joan Walsh Anglund, such as the one above that I found on Etsy.

I have had three days this week with the house almost to myself with Kate at her Grans and Andy away camping with a friend, Stephen coming home late after work.
I guess I had an inkling of that empty nest feeling and found it a little scarey and also liberating.

My time was completely my own and I selfishly didn't have to give a thought to anyone else.
For one whole day in particular I didn't leave the house, not even to go and buy milk.
The house stayed tidy, and apart from feeding the animals I could do, think, eat what I pleased when I pleased.
Strange sensation after twenty years of considering others in my decisions.

It made me wonder too about what it must be like to be a long time married couple who have never had children.
There is a huge space in a house without children and though we were together for some time before we had children I felt that space then too.
I guess it becomes filled with other family, friends, work, hobbies and maybe indulgences that wouldn't be possible otherwise.

I thought about what my life would have been like if children hadn't been a part of my journey.
Just different , was all I came up with.
And the thought of the next part of my journey, the empty nest - my conclusion there was it will just be different.
My empty nest is a long way off, Kate, the youngest, is only 11.
So that is 7 or 8 more years, by that time I may well be a grandmother, another role to figure out.

My thinking this past week hasn't come to any profound conclusions, just that my life so far has been an interesting though unremarkable story.
I have never been a great planner, a dreamer yes, I make dreamy plans but the action part often lets me down.
I have deep within me ideas about how I want my life to be, you know, beliefs that shape my actions.

I have this idea that if I follow my passions passionately enough then I will be taken to places more wonderful than I could ever have planned but I think maybe that needs to be coupled with a practical action plan .
I also have to accept that my main passion is my family, you know the bit about the thing that mostly occupies your mind is the thing that takes up most of your life and that can only be my family, it's just the way I am.

So my week of thinking has been just that, a week of thinking.
a pause.

You know, I would love to have a big blog that thousands of people read and enjoy, I'd love to make dolls that are admired and sought after by thousands, be a person whose opinions are sought and listened to and acted upon.
I'd love to have that constant positive feedback that the hugely popular enjoy.

But this dreamer is enough of a realist to know that is not likely to be a part of my journey.
My sphere of influence is small but no less important because instead of being listened to by thousands of people I can never know I am being listened to by people I know almost as well as myself, my little family, and, of course, to a lesser degree you lovely people who drop by here for a cuppa and chat, enough in tune with your own lives that you don't need someone to tell you how to live but just want to share a little time with a kindred spirit, enjoy some dolly pictures and see what path old Jenny has been down this time.

I have had some lovely emails and comments from new readers lately and that is just lovely.
I think too that my blog comment difficulties have passed but if you are still having trouble just email me and I'll try to figure it out.

Everyone is home now and we have a guest to stay the night, Louis is deep in pre exam mode and needs some long distance mothering and I have dolls to make, cardigans to knit and a home to manage.
Time to move on from the navel gazing.

21 Responses to “ ”

  1. i love this post. i love those pauses, too. i do think they help us to take action though those actions may be small. small actions are okay. after all, you live your life for YOU and your family not for "everyone else." i think similarly to you. we are introverts at heart, no? i think you get along swimmingly. cheers and peace to you as your journey continues to play itself out. enjoy the way ... it's everything!

  2. Hi Jenny. Great to see a new post, I have been wondering where you were. The pauses are important, I think we all need them.

  3. Nice to know you are still around Jenny.
    This was a lovely post, I believe that your sphere of influence will have a longer lasting and more important impact than you can imagine. You are certainly important in my journey and influence me in many ways. For that thankyou.

    cheers Kate

  4. What a great post. I have 10 children, 9 still at home. I rarely get time to myself. Even if my husband takes 5 out that space you are talking about seems huge to me. I love being at home with my husband and children caring for them day in, day out. I wouldn't change a thing.
    Have a good day.

  5. hmm.. we must be in the same thought bubble.
    Mine got popped probably more often than yours today though. (diapers, a fevered/needy two year old, hungry, thirsty, etc.)
    I often wonder how nice it must be to have a whole room devoted to sewing. I reckon I will know soon enough when the kids are gone. For now, though, on and off and on and off the dining room table throughout the week is what I have. It suits me fine I suppose.

  6. I'm all for little pauses. In fact, I rather delight in them. I also do lots of dreaming and thinking I might like to do something about this or that and like you, end up not getting there! Life seems to throw me other things, but the other things are still enjoyable and enriching.

    My Mum always said "Life is what happens when you're busy planning something else". But it is interesting to ponder 'what if'. In the end, I love getting up in the morning to what my life is. What could be better than that?

  7. What a great post Jenny, we share a lot of sentiments that, when pushed aside always come back to family.
    Thanks for sharing.

  8. such a beautiful post, Jenny. Room for reflection is such a lovely thing and your words are inspired and thought provoking - I have dropped into your blog at just the right time it seems ... I indeed needed some space this week but living vicariously through yours has done the trick xx

  9. Just don't stop blogging, please.

  10. I haven't had one of those times alone in the house for awhile. I know that I feel lost when everyone is gone though! I'm glad your blog is just the way it is--a reflection of who you are.

  11. Such a thoughtful post Jenny. I am in that season of life with 6 children raised, the youngest is 32. And I am enjoying it as much as I enjoyed all the busyness of child rearing. I love my days of doing just what I chose to do and enjoy the quiet evenings with my husband.

  12. Really lovely thoughts. We waited 11 years to have our first child. I fear it was too long. Miss our self-indulgent days quite a bit. At the same time, can't imagine life without DS. After just 2 1/2 years, I don't know what to do with myself when he's off with a sitter for a few hours. How will it be after 16 more years? I'm a little fearful of that. So, off to grad school I go. To what end? I know not. Perhaps to find that 19 more years of dedicated family life (presuming babe #2) is the career that I need and want most. :-)

  13. Dear Jenny,
    Thank you for these thoughts ~ it helps me to celebrate and pay attention to the present when I think of how quickly these times pass. Your dolls have such a unique signature to them - their clothes, their expressions, their hair, etc. As Norah brings "Baby" (aka "Bridget") around with her and learns about being gentle, feeding, and rocking her baby, I think of how priceless it is to me to have such a quality doll for her (so soft, not plastic; handmade and personal rather than factory-made). And that kind of learning and care goes on through the generations! Also, as Norah has been potty-training herself, it's been very special that "Baby" has panties of her own, too! I love visiting your blog and have found through the library a number of books that you have highlighted (i.e. Pace of a Hen, some Golden Books, etc). I'm so grateful for my visits here. Thank you!
    Warm regards from California,

  14. Jenny, one of the things I like most about your blog is the quiet gentle happiness of your posts. I feel a soothing presence in your words and photographs, a sense of calm that is sometimes rare in this busy world, and to me that is really a gift that you have shared with your readers. Thank you for the time you take to share with all of us.
    ~Becky ♥

  15. I love the Joan Walsh Anglund picture, and loved those books as a child. I am the one you mentioned, about your age probably, and married for 23 yrs with no children. I love homemaking and think of the two of us as a family just the same.

  16. I love the Joan Walsh Anglund picture, and loved those books as a child. I am the one you mentioned, about your age probably, and married for 23 yrs with no children. I love homemaking and think of the two of us as a family just the same.

  17. Jenny, Your sphere of influence is larger than you realize. My 5 year old just walked in while I was reading your post and said, "Mom, you are on Jenny Wren's blog. I hear her special music and love her dolls." You give us much to enjoy, appreciate, and think about.
    rixja in florida

  18. Hi Jenny

    I just love to come and read your day to day posts and look at your lovely dolls. keep up the good work.

    Tracie xx

  19. thankyou for this lovely post. So much in it I can relate to - dreaming, planning and actions- very thought provoking really..as to where would I be without children..well probably an empty feeling..thatI missed out on a very important part of life and learning of what I am capable of..
    x Peta-Jane X

  20. Jenny, your reflections are so similar to what I've been thinking lately. I have taken a huge break from blog reading and it's so lovely to visit you again.

  21. It was a privilege to read your thoughts. I am also enjoying the music as I have had to turn ABC FM off at the moment as a boy sick at home is having his turn and watching the Bean Movie. I love the breaks that show us how lovely the present is.


Thanks so much for taking the time to chat. I don't always have time to reply but I do read every message you leave.