Family, pure and simple

27 Aug 2007

What a truly exhausting day. I spent the day at the hospital with mum and dad as a number of assessments were carried out and my parents came face to face with the fact that for a while at least dad is going to need a little extra help.
For two very independent people this was difficult to hear especially for mum. I think they will be OK but it must be very difficult coming to terms with this new phase in their lives. And a new phase for myself and my siblings as we have to help my parents make decisions about how they organise their lives.

All my Monday jobs were put to one side and as it was quite late when I arrived home I had to rely on Kate and Andy to start dinner and light the fire. They coped beautifully which really helped me to not completely lose the plot.

Watching my parents today made me realise how long term married couples come to rely so much on each other, where one is weak the other takes up the slack and vice versa. Expecting one to stand alone after more than fifty years together , fifty years of growing to know each other as well as they know themselves, it's impossible to imagine. Of course when the time comes they will cope alone but it is truly wonderful that two people have stuck together through good times and bad and still have such an obvious regard and love for one another.

But the other thing about today was the relief of coming home to a family who enjoy each others company and who pull together to support who ever is going through a difficult time. No one is left to suffer or hurt alone. Again the good times and the bad are shared.
For me family is so important. Friends are too but you choose your friends, family you love because of your shared history, your shared blood and you shared future. Family is always there, for better or worse, that connection can't be broken.

7 Responses to “Family, pure and simple”

  1. How true about your parents. I remember my mum talking about it when her parents got to a certain age, and now it is fast approaching them and it will be us to make some of the decisions.

    Hang in there, it sounds like you have a wonderful family at home.

    I noticed in your header title that you have a plate - it is royal tudor ware. I collect that set and have lots of it - I collect mostly from ebay. I think it is so pretty.

  2. Unfortunately I've had a foretaste of this when my mom passed away and when my mother-in-law broke her foot. At our house we are thankful we live a short drive from our parents' homes.

    God be with you and I hope for a speedy adjustment.

  3. This was a very poignant post for me as my dear mum is learning how to live alone after my dad's passing away last year. She seems ot be coping well, but I know she is lonely... how can she not be after 60 years with the same man...
    Family is so important- I am so glad that you are there for your parents and you have your family there for you...

  4. This is coming up in my life, too. My grandfather and my husband's grandfather have both become incapacitated in the last 2-3 weeks. It can happen all so fast.

    Your family is lucky that they have someone like you that is so caring. I wish your father well and hope that you and your siblings are able to keep some peace of mind.

  5. Beautiful post.
    I've been in your shoes.

  6. Jenny, it is such a difficult transition to see your parents in their twilight years. My Dad passed away a few years ago now and my heart breaks leaving my mother on her own in her home, how we miss him. My family are my best friends and we too are happiest when together. With a 16 and 18 year old daughters, I count it a privilege to sit on the couch and still have them put their head on my shoulder, hold my hand and just watch a movie together, it never gets any better than that.
    My prayers are with you and your family,

  7. This is something our family is having to adjust to too. My FIL is now 85 and needs a little extra help and it means he's had to go through a period of readjustment to get used to his new limitations. I think that having a strong, close knit family of many generations has helped him through. Not just physically but emotionally, you feel more confident when you know you have the back-up of family I think. This was a beautiful post and I suppose it shows the various stages we go through in our lives are made more manageable when we know that our family will help us and love us... from toddler hood to adolescence to old age we need our family.


Thanks so much for taking the time to chat. I don't always have time to reply but I do read every message you leave.